Wednesday, May 15, 2013

A Rolling Stone

It's hard to stay where you are when you feel like you should be somewhere else. It's difficult to face the fact that the resolutions you made a year or two ago may no longer be relevant to your life, because your mindset has changed, because you no longer have the will power or desire for the things you used to swear by.

When you "go away" for a while you come back and you are not fundamentally different, the world you inhabited has not undergone any metamorphasis. For my cousin who lives in Barcelona and my best friend who resides in Shanghai, the world of Sydney, Australia continues unperturbed. The same events, the same feel, the same circle of friends that will go on with or without them in it.

And so it is again this time round. I will "go away" for a year or two. And then I'll come back. And it will be as if I never left. Except that maybe I'll feel different and maybe act different and think a little different too. And I'll try and hold on to the difference as long as possible. Try to remember why I don't want to be the same.

You don't change the world, you change yourself.

Every time I go somewhere I come back determined not to lose the new mindset or challenging ideas or strong motivations that have led to a difference in opinion, lifestyle, behaviour, mentality etc. Change lasts for a while but everyday life is a tide you can't fight without getting worn down. You are the environment you are in, the people you live with, the food you eat, the clothes you wear. All of these, same or different, matter. You are the life you live.

So you have to choose wisely the life you have, where and when and who and what and why. And you have to be okay with the same or with different - as the situation arises.

I keep coming back to the idea of life in flux, out of grasp and unable to be set in stone, regulated, static. Things change, things stay the same. People change, people stay the same. Life changes, life stays the same.. and I gotta be a rolling stone. The inertia of movement that just keeps moving, not necessarily forward but not always backward yet always in motion.

1 comment:

  1. Great post.

    I think of life as one big set. Each of us starring in movies where we're the main character. We could be the quirky best friend or the villain. Either way the movie is seen through our eyes. At the end of the day its about finding happiness with the character you've chosen.